George Washington
Your founder and savior
Died on the flag for your sins
Come unto him
Confess your treachery
Pledge allegiance to His holy flag
For you were born guilty
And have been led astray
Chasing social good
For there is only one who is good
George Washington
The poor must pay for their sin
And seek redemption
Through his holy sacrament
Eat this bootstrap
For it is the leather of his boots
Drink this elbow grease
For it is the grease of his elbows
And do not be led astray
By false idols and false governments
False promises of care and education
For the way is clear
Let the naked cloth themselves
Let the sick heal themselves
Let the poor try harder
Lest you make them soft
Oh George Washington
Hear this prayer
From a soldier of manifest destiny
We are meek and will inherit the earth
Amen
-T. Weeks