Vegas

Here are three tips for enjoying Vegas
For the person that hates Vegas
…
Well never mind
I fucking hate Vegas
The strip feels exactly like an airport
A huge poorly lit disorganized airport
So by the time I leave
I feel like I’ve been on one long layover
Except I don’t mind actual layovers
They’re free time I didn’t know I’d have
Vegas is like a layover in a black hole
Where time runs in reverse
And light goes to die
And burgers are fucking fifteen dollars
And the masses are blowing their cash
On that getaway they deserve
Because someone told them they deserved it
And that someone is an owner of a casino
Next time I’m there I’m going to bring a toilet
Put it in a corner and say to people,

“Hey you look like a hard worker.
You deserve a reward for all your hard work.
Because I like the cut of your jib
I’ve got the opportunity of a lifetime.
For just five bucks
I’ll let you put five bucks in this toilet.”

They’ll feel appreciated and I’ll have ten bucks
They’ll move on ogling
And I’ll sit there busking until my flight arrives.

-T. Weeks